A woman in an online group posted that she was still feeling bad, as in mentally and this is my response. I felt it might translate to others. It really is why I have chosen to focus my plays more on the afterlife of cancer. It seems like less covered terrain.  

 I had a major mental & emotional collapse in the year after ACT, during Herceptin. It's common. I've heard others say they get depressed & anxious. I will admit that I thought about suicide. I had a great therapist at Sloan-Kettering who got me into a program to deal with everything that came up during chemo/cancer. It turns out that having a terrible childhood and then getting cancer as an adult don't go well together. So it did allow me to deal with my shit. I'm also on Lexapro & Klonipin. And I'm on disability for the PTSD & other things. I agree about the "blinders" idea. It's so overwhelming that we can only look at a piece of our experience or just the part we are in, but when it ends we look back at the giant bomb that destroyed a city, and we think 'oh shit, that happened to ME!' My therapist said that most people go through life taking certain things for granted, like the daily risks of life- driving, walking across a street, etc- when faced with death we are suddenly seeing the other side of a coin that we never really knew had another side. And it's hard to unsee that. I hope that translates. I send you hugs & highly recommend a therapist twice a week at least, and art therapy- it's changed my life! I'm still not where I want to be but I am far better at accepting that this is where I am now, and that is okay.